I’ve talked about Imposter Syndrome many times both on the blog and on my social media, it’s something I struggle with on a daily basis in not just my tarot practice but with anything I do. The one thing I don’t hear people talk about often is the fear of success. I’m not writing this post to give you tips and tricks on how to overcome it, simply because I fear success and still struggle with it! This is a post basically saying that you are not alone and it is indeed a real thing!
Anytime I get a new idea, I get excited and start brainstorming. I can see my idea blossom in my mind, I can visualize people enjoying it and loving it, sharing it and using it. Then I start to worry about the what if’s...
What if I can’t handle the traffic it brings me?
What if I can’t keep the momentum going?
and the biggest one… What if I attract more people, which will attract trolls?
When it comes down to it, I fear trolls and asshole comments more than anything. I see the comments left on large following accounts on Instagram and it scares the crap out of me if I’m being honest. I don’t handle trolls well at all and most of the comments trigger my anxiety to no end. So I figure, rather than do something I really want to do and know that I’ll enjoy it, or hell, even help bring in more income… I just don’t do it at all, and that is not how it should be. This is something I know I need to work on and get past, it’s holding me back a lot more than I think. I also think it holds a lot more creative folx back as well!
The fear of success outweighs my Imposter Syndrome and fear of failure on a massive scale! I’ve had many amazing opportunities land in my lap over the years, but the second I start letting my brain dwell on the “what could go right (not wrong)” is when I start to close up. When I ran my old website/blog Tarot Seed, I had some amazing shoutouts from people I admire and look up to in the tarot community. I had a chance to read for a very well known witch in the tarot sphere, who by the way gave me an amazing review! After each big moment happened, I noticed that I would fall into the same habit… close up and take a break. Simply put, I was hiding because I was afraid I was about to unlock a new level in my tarot practice or others might start to catch on and reach out to me for a feature or something like that.
I’m slowly starting to understand why I do what I do and why I struggle so much. I’m also starting to understand that it’s holding me back in big ways!
Most have noticed that I open, close and reopen my tarot services like the wind, it’s because of two reasons: Imposter Syndrome and the fear of success, plain and simple. While I’m on the subject… I am currently taking single card readings for just $5 and I’m trying my best to keep that service open and not close it up again. I enjoy giving readings and connecting with others through them, but doubt plays a big part in why I close my services up so quickly. I’m determined to not do that this time, unless I truly do get pretty swamped and need to catch up, haha!
Anyways, I just want to leave this post with saying if you fear success, I see you and I feel you! It’s hard to deal with, but I think recognizing it is the first step to conquering it. This is when the “fake it till you make it” mentality can really be handy! The Chariot comes to mind anytime I feel blocked, stuck or fearful. Take a deep breath and just go forward, even if you’re afraid. Know that whatever lands in your lap, landed their for a reason and you can handle it!